The Musings of the Absolutely Fabulous Ms. N.

How to make a noemi

Ingredients: 1 part friendliness 5 parts courage 3 parts energy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge!

Where the heck is all the snow that they predicted we would get? I went out and got gas and groceries yesterday in anticipation and there is nothing! The government even granted us unscheduled leave and I am seeing not a flake. Boo! Bring it on!

New Foamy!

Creamy, creamy, cream cheese :)

So it appears that the entire state of Maryland shut down because of the snow storm that is currently hitting us. Every county has closed its school system. Every. Now come on, people of MD calm down. It isn't a blizzard or a Noreaster, its a snow event. There is only one word that can accurately describe the MD attitude towards snow...PENDEJOS. What exactly does this word mean? It is a spanish term meaning jerk, fool, or idiot. I like to use it when describing someone who is a wuss. That is the exact attitude that people down here take when it comes to snow. They all cower and cancel everything. Well not everyone the FED decided that everyone needed to come in today. So here I am :) In a nice quiet office watching the snow fall.

Snow 3 MD 0

New york city can be so pretty
from a bird’s eye view
Because up there
Yeah, that’s where I first kissed you
A modern day romance
A perfect performance
Acting like two fools
Saying silly things
Whisper sweet nothings
Live young lovers only do

I was shaking
You were breathtaking
Like the empire state
My voice was so far
Not quite sinatra
Singing songs so great

The clock struck one
The night still very young
In the city that never sleeps
Then a whirlwind blew
When I first kissed you
Nearly swept me
Swept me off my feet

When I first kissed you
That’s when I knew
I was in love
Because up there
Yeah, that’s whereI first kissed you

Would you rather:
1. Get a splinter in your finger OR stub your toe?
2. Eat at denny's OR the international house of pancakes?
3. Be a world renowned martial artist with multiple black belts OR a famous international negotiator?
4. Have to wear a flashing neon sign that reads "shut up fool!" for a week OR dress like flavor flav for a week?

Answers:

1. Stub my toe. Splinters are a pain to get out. Stubbing is a shot of pain but it is over quickly.

2. Denny's. Not a big fan of IHOP. Yuck :(

3. Ohh famous international negotiator please! Do I get to wear fabulous outfits too??

4. Umm. I guess the neon sign since I think like that anyway. Flava Flave!

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

My cat is back from his visit with the ex and he's back to his old routine-getting his way. So far he has me feeding his when he is not scheduled and took the good pillow on the bed. I can't say no to him and he knows it. He gives me the big sad eyes and I cave in. Either that or he bullies his way in. Bastard.

So I am lying in bed Friday night when Mr. K. calls. Just one of our usual conversations or so I thought. He hints about where he is but doesn't quite tell me then he finally mentions that he is on his way down to see me. Surprise! I was very excited. :) Luckily my place wasn't to much of a mess! I pick him up at the train station and we have a wonderful evening. I am the luckiest girl in the world! Thanks Mr. K.

I am on my own this weekend (I'll miss ya Mr. K) so I am planning on spending the three day weekend watching some movies from Netflix. So far I have Dark Habits by Pedro Almodovar, Futurama Disk 1 and The Wire Season 2. So it will be me, Leo and lots o'popcorn :)

my mind is my enemy
it makes me think and do irrational things
my mind is my enemy
anger and anxiety rule me
my mind is my enemy
once it starts there is no stop
my mind is my enemy

This summer the movie version of Fantastic Four is going to be released. This can't possibly be any good. I will still go and see it. Why? Because Ioan Gruffudd is in it that's why. I love that man. Ever since I saw him in Horatio Hornblower I knew he had talent. Unfortunately every American movie he has done has been crap (King Arthur, The 102 Dalmations etc). Yet every British production has been fantastic. The man can't catch a break. He was even on the short lived CBS show "Century City". Remember it? Prob not. Cause it sucked! See you in line this summer at the movies :)

Ioan Fan Page

This past weekend my car stereo decided that it no longer wanted to tell me what time it was. The lights on the clock part have dimmed so badly that I can no longer read the time. I thought that it was going to be ok when they turned on Sunday but low and behold they have faded again. I just hope that the radio and cd player keep working cause I am not going to replace them. So to everyone out there if I am ever late for an event blame the Neon. Since I have stopped wearing a watch (for over a year now) I am now completely dependent on my cell phone for the time. Let's hope that I don't lose it. Luckily Kev got me another one so I get to carry two around :)

Dodge/Aiwa stereo 2 Noemi 1

Taken from Tuesday is Chooseday

Would you rather:

1. Eat nothing but food from the ocean for the rest of your life OR nothing but food from cans for the rest of your life?
2. X-ray vision OR super hearing?
3. One wish granted today OR three wishes granted ten years from now?
4. Have a threesome with Dr. Ruth and Brad Pitt OR Jennifer Garner and Maury Povich?

Answers:

1. Since I love fish I would have to choose to eat nothing but food from the ocean. MMMM sushi.

2. Super hearing. It would be cool to eavesdrop on conversations.

3. I would save the three wishes for the future. I don't really want anything today.

4. Ack. I'd go for the Brad Pitt one only cause I can't stand Jennifer Garner. And only if Brad dresses like Tyler Durden (in the pink bathrobe). Not the Dr. Ruth is appealing but I am sure she's got some good suggestions for a spicy love life :)

Toilet paper - should the paper be over or under?
I am not that anal (no pun intended) as long as its on the roll I couldn't care less.

Sock Folding - rolled in a ball, folded at the top only or laid together in pairs?
I usually roll mine because if I didn't I would never find them.

Toothpaste - should squeezing be done from the bottom, middle or top?
Bottom. The cheapskate in me needs to be able to squeeze every last drop out.

Commercials - flipper or don't want to risk missing shit-er?
I never really watch commercials, they waste my time.

DVDs and CDs - alphabetical order, some other order or like a discount bin at the local Wal-mart?
If I had the space prob alphabetical right now just getting the right cd into the case is good enough.

Towels - folded a certain way or is folded any way acceptable?
Hmmmm. As long as it fits in my cabinet I guess I don't care.

Socks and Sandals - who cares or serious fashion faux pas?
ACK! Never socks and sandals. Hey, even Jesus knew this was a fashion no-no.

Plastic or wire hangers?
Plastic but wire in a pinch.

What's your sign?
Scorpio.

Do you read your horoscope?
Every freaking day. Multiple ones too.

Ketchup on your fries or on the side to dunk?
Both.

Ketchup on scrambled eggs?
Yup.

Bacon bits or croutons?
Croutons. Artifical bits make me sick.

Boxers or briefs?
On me, neither. On him, boxers :)

You're having a baby and you have no kids. You have to chose boy or girl?
If I had to I say boy. Girls are cute but I have always liked little boys.

Desktop or Laptop?
Laptop.

Prefer cats or dogs?
Meow.

Night owl or morning person?
Morning.

Glasses or contacts?
Both. But not at the same time.

Red Sox or Yankees?
Please! YANKS!

Gay marriage - oh, give me a break or live and let live?
Hey if they want to be as miserable as the heteros more power to them.

Did you vote? Bush or Kerry?
Kerry.

Your family growing up- Brady Bunch or Simpsons?
More like the Bundys.

Benji or Lassie?
Lassie, I had a dog that looked like her.

Rather be single and lonely or married and miserable?
Single with BOB by my side :)

McDonald's or BK?
BK if only for their onion rings.

Britany or Christina?
If it were up to me I'd stick them both on a rocketship set to detonate as soon as they left our atmosphere :)

Hey the Bureau has a "story"

Census Bureau: 9,000 To 15,000 People Work At Census Bureau
WASHINGTON, DC—According to 2004 figures released by the U.S. Census Bureau, between 9,000 and 15,000 people work at the Census Bureau. "It is difficult to obtain an accurate figure on Census Bureau employees, because workers frequently move from department to department," U.S. Census director Charles Kincannon said. "Also, many supervisors failed to return the mail-in forms that asked them to list how many employees they have." Kincannon warned all census-bureau employees to take the census-bureau census more seriously, under penalty of law.

Kev's Poem

Thank you Amorcito.

Did you ever watch Jack Hanna's Wild Kingdom as a kid? I used to watch it Sat afternoons after all the cartoons were over. Growing up in my section of Brooklyn there weren't many opportunities to see animals in the wild (that is unless you took a trip to the Bronx Zoo). So Wild Kingdom was the only way that I could experience nature. But I digress, I noticed today that my corydoras (a type of catfish) have once again reproduced. I initially bought four of them about a year ago and they have had three offspring so far. They are going to make me get a bigger tank. I have the five of them in a ten gallon tank with two upside-down catfish and a betta. It is starting to get crowded. A certain someone who shall remain nameless suggested that I let them run amok and let the weaker ones die. But the sucker that I am can't do that. Plus I hate scooping dead fish. SHUDDER. Till I get a new tank looks like they will all have to get along :)

Today's horoscope:

You are one of the most potentially intimidating signs in the zodiac. Unlike other signs, your retaliation tactics are far more subtle, but just as lethal. Oh, and then there's the fact that you'll wait a hundred years, if that's what it takes. That said, aren't you glad it's your time to relax, and time to let bygones be bygones? You know you can find a better way to use up all this passionate energy ...

After a two day bout with a cold I can say that I am back on my feet. I am now back at the office and maintanence finally got off their asses and replaced some of the overhead lights over my desk. It was so freaking dark where I sit and I even have a window. Now I feel that I can perfom surgery! Not that I would as I get quesy at the sight of blood. Speaking of light I noticed this morning as I was riding down 295 that the sun is coming up earlier. YAY! Spring is on its way. Pretty soon I will be able to break out the spring clothing. I am so getting tired of wool :)

TGIF!

"We all have our inner demons".

Kind of sums up how I am feeling lately.

More foamy btw. And yes, I cant sleep which is why I am up at this godforsaken hour. Cough. Cough.

What is it with female teachers taking advantage of young male students? Are older men really that bad? I have posted this before but I honestly don't see the attraction to a 13 year old boy. What the hell is happening to society? I am blaming reality tv!

CNN Story

Now that Lent is almost upon us, what is everyone giving up?

Not that I am religious or anything (I consider myself a recovering Catholic) but I thought that this would be am interesting poll. Stick your answers in the comments section. I am giving up worrying so much. Or at least I am going to try :)

Valentine’s Day: February 14

One legend has it that Valentine’s Day originated to commemorate the anniversary of the death of St. Valentine, a Roman clergyman who was executed on Feb. 14, about 270 A.D., for secretly marrying couples in defiance of the emperor. According to another, the holiday began as a Roman fertility festival. Americans probably began exchanging handmade valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther Howland, a native of Massachusetts, began to sell the nation’s first mass-produced valentine cards.

Romantic-Sounding Places:

Valentine, Neb.
Lovelady, Texas
Valentine, Texas
Loving County, Texas
Loveland, Colo.
Lovington, N.M.
Lovejoy, Ga.
Loving, N.M.
Loves Park, Ill.
Love County, Okla.
Lovelock, Nev.
Lovington, Ill.
Love Valley, N.C.
Romeo, Colo.
Loveland, Ohio
Romeo, Mich.
Loveland Park, Ohio
Romeoville, Ill.
Loveland, Okla.

Very fitting.

Set about learning a foreign language: you'll draw immense satisfactions and profits from it. The ties of your couple will be good; you'll each know how to find a certain independence all the while being united on ideas and common projects. Your children may be particularly aggressive, sulky and rebellious. Try to de-dramatize the situation; you must take it seriously, but by no means tragically. The tensions will soften only very progressively; therefore have patience.

In case you missed any.

FYI: Brad Pitt got paid $5 million for that beer commercial.

He'll always be Tyler Durden to me :)

Baltimore Crime Blog

Makes me really happy I live in B'more. NOT!

I got the Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack from Eliza this weekend and have listened to it non stop. My favorite song is "Sugardaddy".


I've got a sweet tooth
for licorice drops and jelly roll,
Hey sugar daddy,
Hansel needs some sugar in his bowl.

I'll lay out fine china on the linen
And polish up the chrome
and if you've got some sugar for me,
Sugar Daddy, bring it home.

Black strap molasses,
you're my orange blossom honey bear.
Bring me Versace blue jeans
and black designer underwear.

We'll dress up like the disco-dancing jet set
in Milan and Rome.
And if you've got some sugar for me,
Sugar Daddy, bring it home.

Oh the thrill of control,
like the rush of rock and roll,
is the sweetest taste I've known.
If you've got some sugar bring it home.

When honey bees go shopping
it's something to be seen.
They swarm to wild flowers
and get nectar for the queen.

And everything you bring me
got me dripping like a honeycomb
and if you've got some sugar for me,
Sugar Daddy, bring it home.

Oh the thrill of control,
like a Blitzkrieg on the roll,
It's the sweetest taste I've know.
So if you've got some sugarbring it home.
Come on, Sugar Daddy, bring it home!

Whiskey and French cigarettes,
a motorbike with high-speed jets,
a Waterpik, a Cuisinart
and a hypo-allergenic dog.
I want all the luxuries of the modern age,
and every item on every page
in the Lillian Vernon catalogue.

So you think only a woman
can truly love a man.
Then you buy me the dress
I'll be more woman than a man like you can stand.

I'll be your Venus on a chocolate clam shell
rising on a sea of marshmallow foam
and if you got some sugar for me
Sugar Daddy, bring it home.

It's our tradition to control,
like Erich Honecker and Helmut Kohl(remember him?),
from the Ukraine to the Rhone.
Sweet home uber alles,
Lord, I'm coming home.

So come on, Sugar Daddy, bring me home.

Just stay away from the orange juice!

Never liked him anyway :)

Looks like my gal Martha has a new gig once she gets out of the prison garbs. Apparently she is going to be hosting the next "Apprentice" reality show. Winner gets to be her personal assistant and gets $250,000.

I wonder if me and Martha would get along. Hmmmmm.....

Here is an article about how the teleworking option is not being used fully by federal workers. Surprise, surprise! Hello goverment inefficiency.

Oh and my lights on my lovely Neon are stuck in the high beam position causing me to blind the car in front of me. Oh joy.

Dodge 2 Noemi 1

PS: I refused to watch the State of The Union last night, I caught up on my beauty sleep instead :)

A couple of weeks ago I was wandering around a Barnes And Noble waiting for a friend. I was browsing the fiction area and came upon the novel "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. A grad school friend of mine , Julie, suggested that I read this a few years ago. I always meant to but there was always something else I was reading at the time. So I finally decided to pick it up. I have read about 100 pages into it. So far I really like it. I have always thought of myself as a junior architect in the sense that I am always aware of the effect that buildings have on the environment. One of the reasons why I chose to specialize in urban geography was because I was fascinated by the interaction between humans and the built environment. This isn't an easy read but if you are interested in the philosophy of objectivism or architecture its definitely worth the read.

NY Times Article on the 100th anniversary of Ayn Rand (registration required)

Slap!

Get yo pimp name!

Thanks goes out to Eliza :)

-Vicious D. Mendez Clinton (Sorry no Rodham Kev)!

There is a federal initiative in place that states that federal agencies should have teleworking programs for their employees. This fall I signed up for the program and until recently have not heard a thing about when I can start. A coworker of mine mentioned this during a staff meeting and my branch chief said that he didnt know what the "official" Division policy was on when we could start. Yesterday I asked him again about the teleworking option. His boss (and our assistant Assistant Div. Chief) just happened to walk into his office during our conversation. "T" said that he wasnt sure if they were supposed to forward out paperwork up the ladder of command before people can start. How very typical of our agency. No one knows what the heck is going on and who is in charge. I went back to my desk and informed (emailed really) my boss that starting next week I was going to be teleworking every Wed. That is unless I heard otherwise from him. So far I haven't heard squat. So as far as I am concerned I am teleworking every Wed. So there!

OPM FAQ on Teleworking