The Musings of the Absolutely Fabulous Ms. N.

I am enrolled in this certificate program at work in which I have to take 7 math classes to qualify for the certificate. I went to take the placement exam today and I failed miserably. Please note that I have not take an algebra class in over 10 years. I have to take the pre-alegbra class with all the other retards now. LOL! Luckily I am dating a super-math whiz who actually likes algebra. If I had done that while in school I prob would have gotten better grades!

One other thing I learned today is the formula that equates that minimum age of a woman that he is allowed to date. I found this formula on FARK today in reference to the breaking news story that Tom Cruise is now dating Katie Holmes. The formula goes as follows:

42 / 2 + 7 = 28

42 is the man's age
2 is his age divided in half
7 is some number that gets added to it (don't know why)
28 is the minimum age of the woman he can date.

I wont make a comment on this as I am sure my readers will have plenty to day :) FLAME ON!

Response from Mr. K regarding my complaint about the lack of emails from him today...

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake".

Then he asked me who sang that. I told him it was 50 Cent. Fity not fifty mind you :)

Check out these two conflicting horoscopes for today:


Quickie:
Be careful when it comes to buying something. Nothing is as sour as shopper's remorse.

Overview:
When was the last time you bought something for yourself? Not a gift, not something for your home, not something for your pet -- something that was just for you. It's time, isn't it?


HUH?

Your Life Path Number Is 3

3 Your Life Path is one that emphasizes expression, sociability, and creativity as the lesson to be learned in this life. You are among the entertainers of the world, bright, effervescent, sparkling people with very optimistic attitudes. You possess the most exceptional creative skills: normally in the verbal realm, writing, speaking, acting, or similar endeavors. The lesson to be learned with a 3 life path is that of achievement through expression. The bright side of this path stresses harmony, beauty and pleasures; of sharing your creative talents with the world. Capturing your capability in creative self-expression is the highest level of attainment for this life path. You are warm and friendly, a good conversationalist, social and open. A good conversationalist both from the standpoint of being a delight to listen to, but even more importantly, one who has the ability to listen to others. You are always a welcome addition to any social situation and know how to make others feel at home. Your reative imagination is present, if sometimes latent, as the you may not be moved to develop you talent. Your approach to life tends to be exceedingly positive, and your disposition is almost surely sunny and open-hearted. You effectively cope with all of the many setbacks that occur in life and readily bounce back for more. It is usually easy for you to deal with problems because you can freely admit the existence of problems without letting them get you down. You have good manners and seem to be very conscious of other people's feelings and emotions. Life is generally lived to the fullest, often without much worry about tomorrow. You are not very good at handling money because of a general lack of concern about it. You spend it when you have it and don't when you don't. On the negative side, a 3 may be so delighted with the joy of living that the life becomes frivolous and superficial. You may scatter your abilities and express little sense of purpose. You can be an enigma, for no apparent reason you may become moody and tend to retreat. Escapist tendencies are not uncommon with the 3 life path, and you find it very hard to settle into one place or one position. Guard against being critical of others, impatient, intolerant, or overly optimistic. Typically, the life path 3 gives an above-average ability in some art form. This can encompass painting, interior decorating, landscaping, crafts, writing, music, or the stage, or all of the above. You are apt to be a happy, inspired person, constantly seeking the stimuli of similar people. Your exuberant nature can take you far, especially if you are ever able to focus your energies and talents.

Kevin, Noelle and I having a good old time.



Kevin copping a feel.



For all you Homicide fans out there!



Lynne and a view from the boat.

Here are some photos of Mr K. and I on Noelle and Lynne's boat. That is the Baltimore Inner Harbor behind us. Don't we look cute!

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is.

Your Linguistic Profile:

45% Yankee

40% General American English

15% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

A few weeks ago I finished "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. She was the creator of the philosophy known as Objectivism. This theory is comprised of four items:

1. Reality exists as an objective absolute—facts are facts, independent of man's feelings, wishes, hopes or fears.
2. Reason (the faculty which identifies and integrates the material provided by man's senses) is man's only means of perceiving reality, his only source of knowledge, his only guide to action, and his basic means of survival.
3. Man—every man—is an end in himself, not the means to the ends of others. He must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life.
4. The ideal political-economic system is laissez-faire capitalism. It is a system where men deal with one another, not as victims and executioners, nor as masters and slaves, but as traders, by free, voluntary exchange to mutual benefit. It is a system where no man may obtain any values from others by resorting to physical force, and no man may initiate the use of physical force against others. The government acts only as a policeman that protects man's rights; it uses physical force only in retaliation and only against those who initiate its use, such as criminals or foreign invaders. In a system of full capitalism, there should be (but, historically, has not yet been) a complete separation of state and economics, in the same way and for the same reasons as the separation of state and church.

(From aynrand.org)


What stuck out to me was the belief in self-preservation over altruism. I found this amusing because when people have asked me if I were a feminist I always said "I am a Noemist". What I mean by this is that I live for myself. And I happen to be a woman so in a way I am a feminist but I always have my own best interests at heart. It can sound selfish at times but I learned from an early age that no one is going to do anything for me but me. I didn't totally agree with the character Howard Roark but I can see where he was coming from. I certainly plan on reading the other Ayn Rand books sometime this summer. Until then feel free to subscribe to my philosophy- membership fee is a contribution towards my very own Louis Vuitton bag :)

With all the attention that has been paid recently to the picking of the new pope one has to wonder if Catholicism will become a "sexy" religion. Or is it the media looking for the next story. I tend to think its the latter. I was not surprised at all when Ratzinger was chosen, I was saying for weeks it was going to be him. The cardinals had an opportunity to do something new and exciting and instead they decided to go back to the way things are. I for one hope to never have to step foot in a church again. From a young age I knew that once I was able to make my own decisions I would never practice the catholic religion. That is until I see some major changes in the church. Let's just say I won't hold my breath.

For the past few days I have noticed that the temp gauge on my car has been swinging like crazy. I was freaking out cause I wasn't sure what the hell was going on. AndI certainly did not want the car to overheat and strand me by the side of the highway. After a few frantic phone calls and text messages with Mr. K and my friend Michelle we decided that I needed coolant. With Mr K on the phone this morning I opened up my hood and saw that I was indeed at the "add" level. Whew, that was a relief. So later on today I am going to go buy some. Hopefully that will take care of the problem.

Dodge 2 Noemi 2

This weekend Mr. K and I were treated to a ride on my friend Noelle's sailboat. We met them Sat afternoon at her boat in Fell's Point. I have never been on a sailboat before so this was a real treat. It was gorgeous outside and Noelle and Lynne did a great job with the boat. Mr. K even got a chance to drive for a while. We were out there for a few hours and then had dinner afterwards. I got a photo of the police station that they used in the tv show Homicide. I will have some photos to put up later this week. Now, I am enjoying the beautiful day and getting ready for the work week. Hope everyone had a great weekend :) I sure did.

I am so excited! I made an appt to get a pedicure at the famous Bliss Spa in NYC. It's not till the end of the month though. I really wanted to get a scrub but I am going to wait and get this first. I can't wait. :)

Passed on from an email from a coworker


I, Noemi Mendez, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back fromthe grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

N Mendez

Sure....

First we had the Queen Bee, Little Kim, convicted of perjury for lying in a trial about the whereabouts of her former manager during a shoot out at the hip-hop station Hot 97. Today we have her arch rival Foxy Brown in court. Yesterday she appeared over the August incident. She has been charged with assault over a pedicure. Apparently she went into a nail salon in the Chelsea section on Manhattan just as the salon was closing. According to Ms. Brown she was given a manicure but not the perdicure and was then charged for both. A scuffle ensued when she protested. I hear what ya saying Foxy cause I too have to get my nails done. :)

Who knew there would be so many tempting options? Still, be decisive.

I saw one of the most horrific accidents that I have ever seen on the DC Beltway today. I was in the far left lane and got to see the entire scene. It sent chills down my spine. To my left I saw the front of semitruck was completely smashed in. As I crawled by it I thought, "What the hell could have done that to a semi"? A little further up the road there was a red SUV with the door pried open. Police and other rescue workers were surrounding the driver's side and there was a white sheet over where they had pried the door off. Luckily we were going super slow cause I broke down and cried. I was feeling rather crappy anyway because I got no sleep last night. I seriously doubt the driver survived the impact. I hate driving which is one the reasons why I hate living in MD. The public transit system sucks so I have no choice but to drive. I don't trust other drivers and everytime I get in my car I pray that I make it back alive. All I pray that if I am in such a situation that death come quickly. Shudder.

Panama is the only place in the world where you can see the sun rise on the Pacific and set on the Atlantic.

I picked up the cat from the cat sitter today and added three new fish to my tank. Very exiting day. I did discover that Leo enjoys garlic mashed potatoes. He was meowing like crazy as I was heating some up for lunch. So much that I was willing to do anything to get him to stop. I gave him some potatoes which he promptly licked off of my finger. Satisfied, he walked out of the kitchen. Wierdo. Other than that not much else is going on. Went to the gym this morning and I have all of the windows open in my apt to enjoy the beautiful weather outside. Next on my list: taking a nap :)

So I am finally home from the wild, wild west. Boy do I love it out there. The wide open spaces, the food, the mountains. I can't wait to go back one day. My conference was good, my presenatation went well and I ran into some of my old professors. My graduate department chair mentioned that he had heard that I had gotten married. Boy was that news to me . LOL. Spent Friday night in Joisey, went to the Philly Film Festival, saw a somewhat crappy movie but got to hang out with some friends. All in all it was a great week. Big shout out to Mr. K for dropping me off in the airport. Love ya :)

I am going on a business trip today so I won' be posting for a while. I know you are all disappointed :) Anyway I thought that I would leave you with a little something to remember me by...

"Whoever said money couldn't buy happiness didn't know where to shop".Unknown


CIAO!