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Saturday, January 08, 2005 

RANT: What the hell happened to me?

Once again I am still in a shitty mood. I have no idea why. Maybe its cause I avoided my last therapy session with Dr. Jane. Lately I have been ashamed of how I have been feeling and I haven't wanted to rehash my life with her. Now that the countdown to 30 has begun I have really been scrutinizing my life. Currently I dont have much going on, and hate the state that I live in. I had a failed long term realtionship that I terminated and a cat that I share custody of. I enjoy my job somewhat but am always low on cash. My apt is small and cramped and I can never mange to keep it clean. Ugh, what the hell happened? Where/when did I take a wrong turn? Was it when I moved to MD? Was it a failed relationship? I guess I am in freak out mode again. I had so many plans for my life and none of it happened. At this age I was supposed to have my PhD, married with my own family. I have none of the above.

What would make me happy? More money for one. Living in a other state is another. I am stuck here to at least March 2006. Controlling my emotions is def on that list. I have to stop cancelling sessions. Oh and I think I pissed Mr. K off once again. Wow, am I the best or what?

Right now I trying to figure out how the hell did the JETS get into the playoffs?

I am going back under the covers. Blah.

Good night.

About me

  • I'm DivineMsN
  • From Land of the Jersey Hair, New Joisey, United States
  • NYC girl who has away for awhile but somehow managed to make it back across the Mason-Dixon Line. Now living in NJ at least for the foreseeable future.
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