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Thursday, January 13, 2005 

Men Just Want Mommy- NY Times Article

Maureen Dowd has a piece in today's NY Times about how it seems that men only want to marry women who do not have a professional career (or at least one that doesn't overshadow theirs). This reminds me of a rant that I posted recently titled "Should I break out the lightning rod?" Dowd discusses some popular movies that have men that fall in love with or marry women who are their inferiors in the sense that the women don't have career aspirations or are in jobs that make them subservient.

Is this what men really look for? Someone that needs to be rescued and treats them like a king? I'll tell ya most of the men that I "dated" certainly did not deserve to have me at their beck and call. My last boyfriend was constantly reminded that if he wanted someone to kiss his ass that he was dating the wrong woman. I think the line that I used was "Remember honey I'm from NY, if you want a mommy go date someone from Glen Burnie". (GB also known as Glen Burnout is a suburb between Bmore and Annapolis where everyone is still stuck in the 80s and is some cases the 70s). Listen I dont mind treating a guy well as long as I am being treated well also. But I draw the line at being someone's mommy.

I grew up in an environment where I was forced to take care of and to defend myself. And yes there have been instances where there has been conflict between myself and a significant other when he has insisted that I play a role that I was not raised for. I have tried it on but the costume never did fit well. So rather than play a character not intended for me I rather give up the role to my understudy (whoever she is).

So in conclusion, men be aware of your subconscience when you want something from your partner. Do you really want her or do you want your mommy?

NY Times Article-Subscription required

Is this supposed to be directed to anyone in particular?

No. LOL. These are my brain farts remember? I am just talking out loud is all :)

I read the piece this morning, too. At first, I wanted to go into a rant about how this is another manifestation of what appears to be a broad failure of people, particularly men, to grow up when it becomes time to do so, by which I mean somewhere way short of age 35. But thinking back to my childhood and adolescence, it is clear that even though people at that time gave the appearance (and had some of the substance) of maturity quite a bit earlier, men still wanted someone to clean up after them. I think that the desire for a subservient mate is nothing new. There is now a much higher percentage of educated and working women in the pool of potential mates, and it is my belief that with this, women are more inclined to expect a mate to engage with them on a level higher than the strictly janitorial, and the emotional laziness that men are inclined to display in response is more obvious.

Very nicely put David :) I couldn't have said it better myself!

Oh My God! Marry Mommy? (Shudder) Yech! Ak! Gag! I've been trying to purge my mother's controlling ways from my life for years. I live on the west coast, they (parents) live on the east coast. I've told her many times that if she even considered moving out to California we'd be gone in a month. My mom is like Marie from "Everybody Loves Raymond" except with a Polish accent.

I married up. My wife is my superior in so many ways. PhD among other things. It keeps me on my toes.

I am waiting for the follow up article about women wanting to marry their daddies :)

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